Tyger! Tyger!

Has anyone ever read William Blake's Songs of Innocence and Experience? 

We read it in my late British Literature class. 

I still remember the day we read "The Lamb" and "The Tyger." 

I remember my teacher looking at us from across the room, with eyes that not only burned, but seared my soul with captivation. 

"Which would you pick?" he asked, "A life of innocence? A lamb?"

I'm in his class again this semester, and he asked a similar question after discussing the Garden of Eden:

"Remember the happiest moment of your life up to this point. If you could, would you stop time and stay in that moment for the rest of your life? Would you have stayed in the Garden?"

I tried to think of my happiest moment. It took an unfortunately lengthy amount of time. I finally resolved on one night spent playing in the snow my freshman year of college. I can remember it so clearly; the cold sinking down my back as I was pelted with snow, the laughter that rang out as I sought pay back, and the sweetness of failing to learn how to waltz on icy pavement with the perfect dance partner.

Would I go back?

"Or would you pick the Tyger? Would you choose the pain that comes with experience?"

Things are darker with the Tyger. There is the unknown, there is the potential for failure, there is always pain.

It's been two years since that night in the snow. My dance partner is no longer perfect; in fact, he is barely a part of my life anymore. I'm fairly certain we broke up only a couple weeks after that night. I can't even remember. And I've experienced plenty of unrelated pain since. In fact, I can honestly say that the years since that night have probably been the most challenging of my life.

"Would you have stayed in the Garden?"

No. 

Life hurts. So, so, so, so much. There are things that happen that I don't understand and I'm fairly positive that I never will. Sometimes, I sit back and think "How on earth am I going to survive this one? Is anything good ever going to happen?" 

But, really, in between all of these horrible moments, there are a hundred really fantastic ones. And if I never tried, well then, I would never feel anything anyway. 

So there, I'm glad I tried. And I'm glad I hurt, even though the pain is sometimes more than I think I can handle. 

I take risks because I'm living. I'm not afraid to get hurt. 

Take that little Lamb, I'm going with the Tyger on this one.